Tuesday, August 18, 2009

Contemplation

So, it's been a long time since I've sat to even try to blog-since February....that makes it 7 months. I'm pretty sure I had quite a lot to say...maybe I just didn't want to say it. That's probably a good thing.

God has really brought us a long way in the last 3 years (remember I'm contemplating)...and I'm not talking about mileage...if we did that count, it'd be from Mexico to the states (for deputation), back to Mexico to pack up our things, back to the states to ship it out to Costa Rica, back to the states for medical leave, back to Costa Rica to pack up our things again, and on to the Dominican Republic. (That's not counting all the side trips either). It also does not count all the times I have been in the hospital, in 3 of those countries.

So in the midst of my contemplation, and my lack of understanding of how God works...I sit back and smile. Smile, you ask? You must think I'm crazy. No one in their right mind would smile after so much moving, turmoil, duress, and illness.

Yet I smile. I smile because I KNOW who has been in control of our lives. I think back to my friend Job. (not Job Marquez, but Job from the Bible) He thought he was living the good life. He had everything he ever wanted or needed (kind of how I had been feeling)...He loved his kids, loved his wife, had a nice home, had enough money to live comfortably, had food on his table...and I can imagine him leaning back, saying "this is what life is all about"...

Then out of nowhere, there comes that sneaky devil, trying to get Job to curse God and move on with his life. I can imagine Job's despair...with nowhere to turn..YET he trusted in his God.

That's been me since late last year. I had been trusting in my God. I knew He had His hand on our lives...(though I am not saying that through the process I did not have my doubts and fears)...

So my smile comes from the fact that we are now in the place where the process had been leading. I smile because I am happy. I smile because I am content. I smile because my heart is full of love for my God and for His people.

So in the midst of my contemplation this morning....the hardships are a dull memory. My heart rejoices in the process of growth, wisdom, and knowledge. For without trials and tribulations, we would just be a shell of what God has called us to be...