This is the first day that I can actually wake up at my normal time for prayer and devotion. All the other days, I have been severely drugged up, so I have been asleep, the sleep of the drugged and dead. Thank God that phase seems to have passed. I still do have what we will call "the headache", but we'll blame that on me being on the computer, which I will only be on as long to post this blog.
I don't really understand why God allows for my health to be attacked, there must be a reason. This is the 4th time in as many years. All emotions go out of control. What is going to happen? Will I be alright? Will I be able to walk and talk and be normal? Will this brain thing keep affecting me for the rest of my life? I can't answer any of those questions. All I can do is quietly wait on God, KNOWING that he has COMPLETE control of my situation.
On Monday, everything seemed normal. Just a very slight headache. I laid down early, hoping the headache would go away. At 12 a.m., I jumped out of bed, from my sleep, with such an intense headache that I started crying. I tried to make my way to the sink, but was swaying back and forth. My husband, dear soul that he is, wanted to take me to the ER, but I insisted that I would be okay. So happens that Lexy said she was having a bad dream about some spiders or something, so she laid down with me, and I fell asleep. Morning came, and I could feel something was not right. My mouth was twitching, and so was the entire left side of my face. I went ahead and showered, and when my husband came up, my mouth had completely moved to the left . We went straight to the ER, where thank God, the best neurologist of Costa Rica is on staff. He immediately admitted me into the hospital. By this time the entire left side of my face was twitching uncontrollably.
He went in to do an MRI. Said there was a bleed, but it healed itself. Said lots of other doctor stuff, but mostly, I've had a relapse. The entire right side of my body is very weak, and I'll have to do physical therapy to get it working right again.
I KNOW that God has had his hand upon me. These 5 days have been long. I don't really remember 3 of them, since I was so severely drugged up. You can read on the other posting of what the doctor said I had.
My eyes are getting tired, and "the headache" is growing, so i'll leave this post for now. I am confident in the scripture...
Taken from The Message II Corinthians 12:10
Satan's angel did his best to get me down; what he in fact did was push me to my knees. No danger then of walking around high and mighty! At first I didn't think of it as a gift, and begged God to remove it. Three times I did that, and then he told me,
My grace is enough; it's all you need.
My strength comes into its own in your weakness.
Once I heard that, I was glad to let it happen. I quit focusing on the handicap and began appreciating the gift. It was a case of Christ's strength moving in on my weakness. Now I take limitations in stride, and with good cheer, these limitations that cut me down to size—abuse, accidents, opposition, bad breaks. I just let Christ take over! And so the weaker I get, the stronger I become.
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